Iron hand in a velvet glove
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Definition & Meaning of "iron (hand|fist) in a velvet glove"

iron hand in a velvet glove
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a person who appears gentle and kind on the outside, but they are firm, resolute, and even ruthless in their actions

iron (hand|fist) in a velvet glove definition and meaning

What is the origin of the idiom "an iron hand in a velvet glove" and when to use it?

The idiom "an iron hand in a velvet glove" has its origins in the broader history of idiomatic expressions and imagery. It likens a person's demeanor or leadership style to wearing a soft and gentle exterior (the velvet glove) while concealing a firm, strong, or stubborn nature (the iron hand) underneath. This expression is used to convey the concept of being gentle and understanding on the surface while maintaining inner resolve and assertiveness, particularly when making difficult decisions or managing situations effectively.

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Example
examples
He appears to be a lenient parent, but in reality, he's an iron hand in a velvet glove, setting clear boundaries and expectations for his children.
The diplomat used an iron hand in a velvet glove approach during the negotiations, appearing conciliatory while firmly protecting their country's interests.
The patriarch has always been an iron fist in a velvet glove.
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