be cruel to be kind

Definition & Meaning of "[be] cruel to be kind"

to be cruel to be kind

to say or do something with the intention of helping someone even though it might hurt their feelings or seem unkind

What is the origin of the idiom "be cruel to be kind" and when to use it?

The origin of the idiom "be cruel to be kind" can be traced back to Shakespeare's play "Hamlet." In Act III, Scene IV, Hamlet tells his mother, Queen Gertrude, that he will be harsh and cruel in his words and actions in order to help her realize the error of her ways. Over time, this phrase became more widely used to express the concept of employing tough love or harsh measures for the ultimate benefit or well-being of an individual. It is often used in relationships, such as between friends, family members, or mentors, where individuals may need to confront difficult truths, offer blunt advice, or enforce boundaries for the long-term benefit of the other person.

Example

Sometimes teachers have to be cruel to be kind by giving challenging assignments and holding high expectations to foster academic growth in their students.

The coach was tough on the team, pushing them to their limits in training, but it was all in an effort to be cruel to be kind and help them achieve their full potential.

The parents decided to be cruel to be kind and enforce strict rules on their teenager to ensure they learned discipline and responsibility.

The intervention was emotionally difficult for everyone involved, but they knew they had to be cruel to be kind and confront the person about their destructive behavior for the sake of their well-being.